Midwest Today, Holiday 1997

REMEMBERING PRINCESS DIANA'S
VISIT TO THE HEARTLAND

FRIENDS REMEMBER A COMPLEX DI

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.

-Author Unknown

She was a luminous presence on the world scene, a woman who combined glamor with compassion, and whose unprecedented popularity transcended national boundaries. Fairy-tale princess and vengeful divorcée, fashion-plate beauty and social do-gooder, media victim and skilled manipulator, devoted mother and confessed adulteress, goodwill ambassador and later scourge of the monarchy - this was a woman of vast contradictions.

Like other pop icons, Britain's Princess Diana died young, in her prime. The outpouring of worldwide grief in the weeks since her death in a Paris car crash August 31st, has been unlike anything seen since the assassination of President John F. Kennedy almost 34 years ago.

An estimated $25 million in floral tributes formed fragrant oceans about the Palaces in Britain, and a quarter billion dollars in charitable contributions were received in the first week following her death.

In the Chicago Loop, thousands of people waited in line for hours to sign a condolence book in the lobby of the Wrigley Building, which houses the British Consulate. Many of them brought flowers, candles and cards.

Taped to a door was a sheet of typing paper on which two Band-Aids were fastened. The handwritten note on the paper said, "Diana. If only there were enough bandages in the world."

What was it about this woman that moved so many to such adulation? In this cynical age, Diana was one of the few global figures who really cared about people - and showed it. She kissed lepers, shook hands with aids patients and literally walked through minefields in her doughty campaign to make the world a better place.

Commanding no armies, relying on no focus groups, casting no votes and without dispensing any government largesse, Princess Diana changed the lives of millions, through the sheer force of her character and the iron strength of her moral purpose.

She lived out in her own short life the battle royal of our times - between service and self-absorption, between the impulse to give and the craving for pleasure.

Her ultimate appeal comes from the fact that through all the wrong turns she took, she kept reaching out beyond herself to those in greater pain and greater need. And that, in the end, was her life's most powerful message. Her vulnerability only won her greater admiration.

"Two things stand like stone," Princess Diana once said prophetically. "Kind-ness in another's trouble; courage in your own."

For three days in June of last year, Princess Diana visited the Midwest. She toured a campus in the small Illinois town of Evanston, visited a big Chicago hospital, attended a charity luncheon to promote breast cancer awareness, was the guest of honor at a star-studded evening hosted by a museum, and charmed fellow guests at a Windy City hotel.

The Princess made Evanston, Ill. her first stop, arriving around 6:30 P.M. on June 4, 1996, (which was 2:30 A.M. British time).

When she stepped out of her black Rolls Royce, accompanied by her Lady in Waiting, she headed immediately for the students who stood nervously on the steps of Northwestern University's School of Law.

"She was breathtaking," said Roderick Williams, a 20-year-old sophomore. "And she was nice. She knew my name and she asked me jokingly if I wear these clothes to class," referring to his dapper gray suit and tie. He said she told him, "I have boys of my own and I can tell, you don't usually wear jackets."

"I was just, like, stunned! It was like something my mom would say. It showed that maternal instinct she had," Williams opined. "She was one of the most elegant, poised, down-to-earth ladies," said 21-year-old Leonline Chaung, another student body representative.

A crowd of 3,000 onlookers armed with cameras and binoculars cheered and clapped for the Princess, who squished across the soggy lawn in her bone-and-black slingbacks to gather up the flowers being offered her and shake hands with well-wishers.

"I came for a hug," declared David Studnitzer, 13. So Diana wrapped him in her arms.

"Cool," David said.

It was hard to imagine that any other person besides a rock star could bring a 13-year-old boy outdoors to wait around for a long time, in a drizzle, with his 15-year-old sister.

Joseph Zaghal, a 36-year-old engineer, was allowed to peck the Royal cheek ("It was my lucky day," he said later).

In a short, snappy linen suit the color of a scoop of 31 Flavors' Daiquiri Ice, Diana clutched a modest bunch of lilies-of-the-valley as she strolled through the sculpture garden at Nu with President Henry Bienena, before departing for a reception at the home of the university official and his wife.

With a radiant smile, the Princess at one point grabbed Bienen's arm when he strayed briefly from her side.

With a gentle yank, she pulled him toward her and said, "You mustn't leave me. You must stay right here beside me."

Coinciding with her visit, one of the best-selling issues of Majesty, a monthly magazine devoted to the British royal family, featured a cover story on the Princess: "Is she mad, bad and dangerous?"

But as the Chicago Tribune reported in its People-speak style, "Princess Di arrived in Chi and the town went gaga. She worked her crowd like a pol and a potentate and usually sane, sensible people seemed to swoon.

"The ones who touched Diana's hand looked like they needed CPR," the paper said. "For those who got a brief word from the Princess, it was hot diggity heart attack. Bring on the medics!"

The next day, at a cancer symposium at Northwestern's School of Law in downtown Chicago, Diana sat on a red leather chair and listened attentively to seven presentations of ten-minutes each, including a slide show. She surprised Royal watchers with her serious remarks, praising researchers for their efforts in battling "the dreaded 'c' word" but warned "our work is not yet finished...I would suggest that now might be a good time to consider another 'c' word which may threaten us. It is the word 'complacency.'" She told the crowd, "Whilst few of us may be able to pioneer a new form of surgery or test a new drug, we can support those who do. We can raise money for research and work in other ways to ensure that the fight against this disease continues to press ahead."

Later, the Princess arrived at Cook County Hospital, to be greeted by Board President John Stroger and hospital director Ruth Rothstein. She toured the hospital's trauma unit, children's emergency room and pediatric intensive care unit.

Moving from ward to ward, shaking hands, hugging family members and stroking children's faces, Diana said little - and said it quietly - but patients immediately warmed to her.

Visiting the emergency room as a doctor was applying a cast to little five-year-old Aide Alvarado, who had broken her arm in a playground fall, Diana gave the girl a conspiratorial look - and whispered, "No more baths."

One touching moment came in the pediatric unit when the Princess was taken to the bedside of a ten-week-old girl with a severe medical problem. When the doctor told her the infant probably would not survive, Diana became upset and walked away, her eyes filled with tears. But she returned a few moments later to hold the baby's hand for a little while.

"She gave us some good inspiration to try to live better," said gunshot victim Lester Barlow, 35, who met Diana at the hospital. "She said, 'Try to keep a low profile and live a good life.'"

Then, it was back to the Drake Hotel to change and be coifed, with the help of her personal dresser, Gywnne Doncaster, and her favorite London hairdresser, Sam McKnight - and off to the ball.

The Princess drew a full house, 1,300, for dinner and dancing that night at the Field Museum of Natural History. Tables close to her cost $35,000 for ten places. About a dozen people each paid $50,000 for a package of tickets to every event of the weekend.

The main hall of the museum was transformed with flowers, primarily roses and peonies, and woven tree branches hanging over two fountain pools. It was lit with candles and pink spotlights and converted, for the evening, into "A Chicago Garden."

Guests dined on salmon and trout timbale with artichoke relish and rack of lamb (though friends say one food Diana decidedly did not like was salmon - something her hosts may not have known).

"I've never seen a reception like this one," enthused singer Tony Bennett, who let it be known that this was the third time he had waived his usual fee to sing for the Princess.

Stunning in a sleeveless, purple (for Northwestern) ball-gown, and wearing a pearl and diamond necklace that several onlookers agreed was "fabulous," the Princess sailed down the museum's sweeping staircase at Stanley Field Hall on the arm of Northwestern University president Henry Bjenen. "She didn't walk, she glided," said Joannie Moreland of Winnetka. "She was so graceful."

Diana received a standing ovation from the crowd which included such notables as Gloria Estefan, Phil Donahue and Joan Rivers. Even Michael Jordan's mother, Deloris, seemed to catch Di fever, dropping in on the way to her son's NBA championship playoff game to meet the Princess and present her with autographed Bulls souvenirs for Princes William and Harry. "I said hello to the Princess, and now I'm off to the game," Mrs. Jordan told reporters.

With her purple high heels that projected her head high above almost everyone in the receiving line, Diana clearly dominated the evening. "The minute the Princess was on the dance floor, everyone went out to dance," said Moreland." It was very funny. Usually men have to be coaxed onto the dance floor, but not this time."

She danced the fox-trot with Phil Donahue, who had been pre-selected for his height - and the fact that he was married - a prerequisite the Princess insisted upon to avoid unwanted gossip.

But an amusing incident occurred when a recently-divorced, 55-year-old millionaire tool manufacturer, Michael Wilkie, ignored palace protocol and ambled over to the Princess to ask her to dance. Unruffled, Diana graciously accepted his offer, dancing to "In the Mood," while her hosts fumed. Wilkie, whom People magazine described as being 280 pounds, had previously sent four dozen long-stemmed roses to Diana at her hotel telling her of his intentions.

Britisher Harold Brooks-Baker called Wilkie's move the worst American faux pas since Vice President John Nance Garner slapped King George vi on the back in 1939 and asked, "How are you doing, King?" As the Princess was leaving, Moreland remembers, "The crowd parted like the Red Sea. Everyone stepped back, no one spoke. We were all very well-behaved. It was amazing."

Back at the Drake hotel, where Diana occupied the six-room, $1,750-a-night Presidential suite, specially equipped, at her request, with a Lifecycle exercise bike and an ample supply of mineral water, she charmed everyone she met.

JoAnn Bongiorno, director of public relations, said "Our staff was enamored with her warmth, beauty, and accessibility. She did not shun anyone, but made them feel special. She'd walk in and anyone who had flowers she walk over to them and take the flowers and thank them.

"She was one that looked you straight in the eye, and she had such a beautiful smile, like she really meant it for you. She was such a stunning woman. There was a warmth in her eyes that a lot of people just don't have."

"She ate very healthy, very healthy," Bongiorno chuckled, "lots of vegetables and fruit and juices, [including] a watercress juice that the chef made that she wanted. She was very disciplined in her eating habits."

James Whittaker of London's Daily Mirror, one of the guests at a private party for members of the foreign press in Winnetka, Ill., said at the time, "[she is] desperately trying to sort out what her role in life will be. It's important for her to succeed here." And succeed she did.

FRIENDS GIVE INTIMATE VIEW
OF A COMPLEX DI

Perhaps one of the reasons we Americans took so strongly to Diana is that, without our knowing it, she had some intriguing U.S. ties: A great-grandmother was born in New York in 1857. Her distant cousins, said Boston genealogist Gary Roberts, who has traced her ancestry, include Presidents John Adams and Franklin Roosevelt, actors Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn and writers Louisa May Alcott and Ralph Waldo Emerson.

"A piece of her was definitely American," Roberts said. "It reinforced our special relationship with her."

At one point as her marriage was winding down, Diana had discussed with Charles the possibility of her moving to the States, and shuttling back and forth on the Concorde, which she dearly loved. He is said to have reacted angrily to the idea, lambasting what he perceived to be the crudity of American society.

Whenever she came here, she was warmly received. Two Midwest-born women, First Lady Hillary Clinton and Red Cross head Elizabeth Dole, were among her favorite consorts. Both saw Diana for the last time only a few weeks before her death.

David Cannadine, a professor of history at Columbia University who has written about 19th and 20th century Britain, speculates that it was Diana's embodiment of several images at once that made her so appealing.

"She was the postmodern multiple-identities icon," Cannadine said. "She was Mother Teresa one day and Marilyn Monroe the next. And it was irresistible to some."

In Chicago, Bishop Frank Griswold told more than a thousand mourners who filled St. James Cathedral for a memorial service, that Princess Diana "was in so many ways a mirror of our own humanity writ large, complete with all its paradoxes and contradictions, all its struggle to find meaning in life and to find love, which is perhaps why so many of us thought of her as one of us."

The Los Angeles Times observed that "Possessing an unremarkable education, wealthy by birth, Diana would probably have led a comfortably anonymous life had she not married Charles, the Prince of Wales. But Diana turned out to be everything the fusty British royal family was not - warm, genial, engaging, unpretentious and beautifully dressed."

In l993, saying she needed "More time and space" in her private life, she embarked on a frenzied quest for peace of mind - turning to mystics, clairvoyants, magic pyramids, colonic rituals, battered-wives meetings, gurus. In one year, she spent over $12,000 on aroma therapy alone.

This followed five suicide attempts, including an occasion when she hurled herself down some stairs and even cut her arms and legs with a lemon peeler. The reaction of her husband was dry detachment.

But in the end, it was Diana's charitable work in which she found purpose and self-acceptance.

Peter Archer, a British Press Association correspondent whom Diana trusted, said that"After years of inner turmoil, the Princess had begun to find happiness."

He acknowledged that "in private, Diana could at times be difficult and bad-tempered, [as] evidenced by the long list of resignations from her staff.

"However," he said, "during the past 12 months since her divorce, I witnessed a more mature and composed Princess emerge from her dark troubles.

"She had begun to enjoy life again. Her famous blue eyes now reflected an inner calm. Diana was coming to terms with the sometimes crazy world in which she lived."

In a controversial 1995 interview with the BBC, Diana had expressed the wish to be "a queen of people's hearts."

"I'm not a political animal," she reflected, "but I think the biggest disease this world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of people feeling un-loved, and I know that I can give love for a minute, for a half an hour, for a day, for a month. But I can give, and I'm very happy to do that, and I want to do that."

Indeed, she was true to her word.

Her trip to the Heartland, for instance, had raised a staggering $1.4 million before she even left home.

Many Unpublicized Acts of Kindness

Stories that have surfaced since her death reveal that Diana touched the sick and the down-and-out far more often and perhaps more deeply than was ever publicized during her lifetime, despite the hangers-on among the press.

She routinely interacted with the homeless, the battered, the drug addicted, the terminally ill. Once she even learned sign language in order to be able to address a deaf audience.

Diana would often go incognito to visit vagrants sleeping on the sidewalks in the bad part of London. A few months ago she brought her two sons, William and Harry, with her to help prepare a meal at a homeless shelter without the press being aware of it.

Averil Slade, a spokeswoman for London's Royal Brompton Hospital said, "She came here as often as three times a week. She'd bounce in unannounced, in jeans and [athletic shoes], sit on people's beds and talk for hours."

These encounters deeply affected her. "Always, always, you take it home with you," she once told friend Martin Keene, who speculated, "Perhaps caring for those worse off than herself somehow helped ease her own pain."

Among those drawn to Kensington Palace to pay respects to Princess Diana after her death was Vincent Seabrook, 27, who was sleeping in a doorway in central London when the Princess spotted him and stopped to chat.

He says their chance meeting saved his life. "Without her help, I really believe I would be dead by now," he asserts.

Now working as a security guard and with his own home, he carried a handmade plaque to leave with the floral tributes. On it he wrote: "Diana, I will never forget you. I met you twice and, at the time, I was homeless. You came to me and asked how long I had been on the streets. You then went and got me something to eat and drink. It was very cold and wet on that night.

"The next time I saw you I remember you saying to me: 'I will get you somewhere to live.' And you did. You asked me about my life and I told you about the abuse I went through when I was a kid, and I could see you had tears in your eyes.

"You have a very caring heart, and I will never forget the help you gave me. Love from Vincent."

Seabrook said the Princess wrote two letters to him after their meetings in the street, expressing her continued interest in his case. This follow-up is another unpublicized aspect of Diana's human touch.

A little eight-year-old girl who'd had heart surgery in May, Danielle Stevenson, was visited by the Princess five times in the ensuing months. Diana had also given the child her direct phone number at the palace and taken her calls in recent weeks.

Thirty-year-old Dean Woodward was in a coma after a car accident when Princess Diana first visited him at Nottingham's Queen Medical Centre in 1990. Diana was there because Prince Charles had broken his elbow.

Diana saw Woodward's mother crying in the corridor and asked what was wrong. When told, she went to Dean's bedside, squeezed his hand, mopped his forehead and talked to him softly. When he came around he couldn't believe Her Royal Highness had visited him.

The Princess remained in contact with the family for seven years, once even visiting their home. They videotaped the occasion, and treasure the tape as a cherished memento of a woman who made them feel special.

Even while cruising aboard the Fayed family yacht, the Princess found time to send notes to those who needed solace. One such letter was received by Marilyn Ecton, 54, a retired teacher suffering from breast cancer. It had been postmarked "St. Tropez."

No Pretensions

Those who encountered Princess Diana say she had no pretensions, and immediately put people at ease.

Jonathan Grimshaw, an AIDS worker for the Terrence Higgins Trust, told how "She came to a project...and everyone was terribly nervous. We'd been drilled on protocol and security. Then this charming, vivacious, beautiful young woman came through the door. The first thing she did was pull a stone out of her sandal, hand it over and say: 'I think this belongs to you.' It immediately broke the ice."

Susie Parsons, chief executive of the London Lighthouse recalled, "Last October she came to launch an appeal to expand our centre. She wasn't what I expected. I expected her to be a very polished and professional woman who had a public persona, but when you spoke to her you felt she was talking on the same wavelength. She was someone you could do business with."

Yad Luthra, a Red Cross worker, recalled, "We were on a plane going down to southern Africa, before travelling around Angola. She was warm, friendly, very professional - but very unprincess-like. She recognized we all had a job to do. There were no airs and graces. We met one young girl who had stepped on a land mine and was so badly injured that she had to wear a colostomy bag - but Diana didn't recoil for a moment. The roads were terrible. But every bump we hit produced a giggle. It was incredibly infectious."

At a university hospital, the Princess encountered one young man in a dentist's chair. Chris Keegan recalls, "She came in, took a look at me, and said 'That shirt and tie do not go together.' She said it with such a huge grin that she had us in hysterics. It was incredibly disarming."

Touring an aids ward, one of the patients told Diana that "You're more gorgeous than in the papers." Quick as a flash she said: "You should see me in the mornings."

Those close to her say Princess Diana would invariably seek out the oldest person in the room, or the person of least attractiveness, and focus her attention on them. On one such occasion, she came upon an elderly woman who was crying. Diana knelt down and put her arms around her and asked what was wrong. The lady said she'd had little notice before the Princess's visit, and thus hadn't had time to change her clothes. She felt embarrassed by the outfit she was wearing. Diana replied that it looked just fine to her, then paused a moment. She took off a piece of her own jewelry and pinned it to the woman's dress, and said "There. That will make it look better."

Friends agree that, despite personal insecurities and frustrations, they saw the young Princess mature over the years.

Novelist Jeffrey Archer recalls, "I first met Diana at a reception at Buckingham Palace - it must have been about ten years ago. She was gauche, nervous and giggly. Over the years I saw her mature into a self-confident and very beautiful woman."

Time Spent With Friends

What was she really like with her friends?

British journalist Richard Kay of the Daily Mail, a close friend of the Princess, who is thought to be the last member of the press whom Diana called only hours before the accident, reflected that "In private she was a completely different person from the manicured clothes horse that the public's insatiable demand for icons had created.

"She was natural and witty and did a wonderful impression of the Queen," he revealed.

Kay recalled that "Just before last Christmas I lunched with her at a friend's house in Hampstead. We ate vegetable curry with pulses and rice and drank still water. Diana was intoxicating company. She never needed on that day - or any carefree day with friends, for that matter - the fortification of alcohol.

"After lunch she helped clear the table and stacked the dishwasher, soaked the pans and wiped the table with a damp cloth.

"The four of us went for a walk on Hampstead Heath. We were all arm-in-arm, plodding through the mud after heavy rain in ordinary shoes, laughing at the state they were in. People passing us on the heath could hardly believe they were seeing the most famous woman in the world entirely without her public make-up. She wore jeans and ankle boots. Her unstyled hair was its natural shape: flat.

"But the simple soul who was the real Diana was already anticipating Christmas, which she hated because her sons inevitably spent it with their father and the rest of the Royal Family. She would be alone as usual."

Richard Greene, an American speech coach whom Diana hired around the time her divorce became final in June of last year, said "There was also a flip side to her. Seconds after being up and bouncy, she would get very shy and quiet, drop her shoulders a bit, tilt her head down and to the side, and look up at you with big doe-eyes."

He relates that "Once, after I had complimented her on something, she assumed this vulnerable pose and asked, with incredible insecurity, 'Do you really think so?'"

Greene explains, "I told her that my comments were always genuine, and then I remember blurting out, 'You are really two people, aren't you?' "There was a long pause, and then she said: 'Yes. How did you know?'"

Greene says he "was shocked at how open she was about so many things in her life. She talked about Charles, her relationship with his family, her mother, why she was drawn to the charities she had chosen and what she was looking for in a man."

He says in their first meeting, Diana had remarked, "You know, I think romance is overstated, don't you?. I think now that what I really want is someone who can be a lifelong friend."

Two other Americans who enjoyed a unique friendship with Princess Diana are renowned realist painter Nelson Shanks and his wife, Leona. The artist had been hired by some London benefactors to do a five-foot-high oil canvas portrait of the Princess.

The painting sessions began in the Summer of 1994, lasting three to seven hours each day over four months, and were held at the 59-year-old Shanks' studio he had set up in Chelsea, England. Weekdays, Diana arrived with a driver and no bodyguard. On weekends, she drove herself.

Each day, the threesome ate lunch together. Often, Diana brought gifts: scented candles, ornate ribbon, treats for dessert.

A series of snapshots Leona Shanks took of the painting sessions shows a Princess alternately calm and composed, reflective and giddy. In some, she's wearing a white blouse and a miniskirt, her tan, bare legs stretched across a velvet footstool.

In one shot, she's shrugging her shoulders. In another, she's laughing heartily. In others, she keeps her hands folded tightly and appears somber and serious.

It was Diana who first asked the Shankses to dinner in what became a weekly ritual during their London stay.

"It was like having dinner with any ordinary person, without any protocol, formality" Leona Shanks recalled. "She had no airs. Anything could be discussed."

"She was unpretentious," Nelson Shanks said. "She had a natural poise, a natural elegance and eyes that would eat through cement they were so beautiful."

Shanks finished the painting in the Fall of 1994, and it has hung since in the foyer of Kensington Palace, though Diana had loaned the portrait to a New York gallery last year for an exhibition.

Last year, the Shankses met her in New York for an evening out with Luciano Pavarotti. They continued to exchange monthly phone calls with her.

Shanks said he is still numb from the news that his "beloved friend" is dead. "We went through the range of emotions together. I felt like her soul champion, her voice," he said pensively.

"We came away holding her up to the stars," said Leona Shanks, 37, just a year older than Diana. "She was so down-to-earth, so compassionate. She was always climbing mountains. She never gave up."

For a copy of the issue of Midwest Today containing this story, send $5 (includes S&H) to: Midwest Today, P.O. Box 685, Panora, Iowa 50216.

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